How to Go Dancing Alone

An illustrated guide to going to a concert or club by yourself.

Scientifically speaking, dancing doesn’t require company. All we need are our own bodies. Just ask my bedroom walls.

They’ve seen me get down to everything from Pitbull (guilty!) to bass-bumping deep house. Yet I’ve never aspired to go dancing alone. Even though I adore music and doing things solo, “Roll up to the club by myself” has never been on my bucket list. If I’m going out, it’s with friends! Or so I thought.

This summer, I became a solo dancer out of necessity. When my friend unexpectedly backed out of our plans to see a DJ at Public Records, a small spot in Brooklyn, I faced two options: proceed as planned or stay home. But I needed to dance that night. It was a celebratory night—my last day at my old job. I wanted to dance and ring in the start of a new chapter. So rather than hunt down another plus one, I decided to send it on my own.  

I arrived to Public Records in a state of awkward paranoia. I left in a state of mind-blown euphoria. I didn’t just have a good time—I had one of the best nights of my life. I’m not being hyperbolic. Smiling and sweaty, I danced and danced and danced and I even noticed other women of all ages dancing by themselves as well.

Since then, I’ve become a seasoned solo dancer. Every time I go out on my own, I leave feeling incredibly empowered. Not having to depend on others to go out is a liberating secret weapon.

Like me, you might never plan on going dancing alone. But you never know when the opportunity—or need—will arise. Friends bail last minute? A niche band that only you know announces a show? A Friday night in a new city? Why not consider flying solo? If you do, here are my tips for making the most of a dancing night out—100% on your own:  

For once, it’s okay to be selfish.

Jazz. Funk. Mosh pits. You name it—it’s yours. Going out alone means you can follow your heart’s groove. If you hate hip hop but show up to a bar that’s blasting Kanye West, you’re not going to have a good time. As you consider your first solo musical event, ask yourself: would I enjoy dancing to this genre/band/artist alone in my room? If the answer is yes, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable and content. For me, the answer is and always will be: house—or as my friends like to say, “music with no words in it.” 

That’s why I always use Resident Advisor to find local house music events wherever I go. Before my first solo night out at Public Records, I read on Resident Advisor that the DJ would be spinning disco and house—the musical combo of my dreams. While I had zero clue if I would enjoy the experience of being alone, at least I knew I’d enjoy the music.

You want to feel confident. Not for the group selfies, but for your own sense of I-got-this.

Wear something that makes you feel good. Maybe it’s that piece in your wardrobe that’s reserved for special occasions (this is a special occasion, after all). Or maybe it’s all black—comfortable and classic. 

Whatever you wear, wear it with pride. Rolling up alone takes confidence, so do what you need to do to feel like your best self. If I’m going out alone, I still get ready as though I’m going out with my girlfriends. I do my makeup, I spray perfume, I put on a cute top, and I sport sneakers so I can fully groove.

It’s easier to show up when people are already lost in their own dancing world.

Unless it’s general admission and you need to secure a spot early, I suggest arriving once the party is already underway. You can join the crowd without sticking out. 

Oftentimes, there will be a line outside the venue. This is a good thing. No one will judge you for waiting on line by yourself—even though you might think they are. When I first made eye contact with the bouncer at Public Records, I felt like an underage college student with a fake ID again. Palms sweaty. Heart racing. What does he think of me?! But then I told myself that he—and the other people on line—probably assume I’m running late and meeting a friend inside, which I have done many times! Tell yourself what you need to. The truth is: no one is thinking about anything except themselves. Everyone is focused on their own fun, so why not focus on yours, too?

Think of this step as the pre-adventure.

Once you’re inside the venue, scope out the situation. Head to the bathroom, wander over to the smoking section, or pretend you’re looking for your friends. This will give you something to do as you get your bearings. 

Once you’re ready to start grooving, scan the dance floor. See if there’s an open spot next to a group of friendly-looking strangers. Or even better: find some other solo dancers. If you’re a woman flying solo, this is a good moment to find a space that feels safe from any potential creeps. I haven’t encountered any during my solo stints, but it’s smart to play it safe.

In my experience, the best spots to get down are in the front by the stage or DJ booth—or in the back where there’s more breathing room. Find a spot that feels right for you and start tapping your feet as you make your way over.

This is my abuela. All five feet of her dancing cuteness.

Grandmas of the Cuban variety can dance to anything, anywhere.

It doesn’t matter if it’s in the middle of dinner, at the eye doctor, or in Costco—when my abuela hears a beat, she’ll start dancing. To her (and most Cubans), dancing is pleasure. She doesn’t need a crowd, a crew, or a companion. She just dances because it’s fun and freeing.

Channel that I-don’t-give-a-hoot energy on the dance floor. Feel the beat. Move your body. Dance like no one’s watching. If it helps, pretend you’re drunk. Or pretend you’re a 98-year-old abuela with dementia who gives zero craps about what people think of her. I’ve done both. And they’re surprisingly effective at helping me care less and move more. 

If you’re not having fun, guess what—you can leave!

But if you are having fun, guess what—you can stay out as late (or as early) as you want. On my first night out, I told myself I’d be proud if I lasted thirty minutes. I ended up lasting three hours. Regardless of whenever your bed beckons you home, consider ordering a car to make sure you get back as safely as possible. 

Here’s the best part: No one will judge you for leaving. Or dancing until last call. Or going to the bathroom again. Or attempting to twerk. Or just bopping your head. No one will judge you because you’re literally alone. You’re in full control of your fun—all night long.

My First Time Dancing Alone: A Demo + How-To Video

@vividtatianatwo fears in one: my first tiktok x my first time dancing alone 👀 #nyc #clubbing #solotravel #howto #housemusic #brooklyn #nycnightlife

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(AKA other steps outside my comfort zone)

• Showing up solo and sober: My first solo night out was also booze-free. A year ago, I would have never imagined 1) seeing a DJ by myself 2) seeing a DJ and not drinking. Turns out there’s a natural high that comes from doing both.

• Sliding into a stranger’s DMs: I’m normally not one to do this, but fueled by my post-dancing euphoria and non-liquid courage, I wanted to let the DJ, 4AM NYC, know what an incredible time I had dancing solo and sober during her set. To my surprise, she revealed that the event I went to, Spiritual Mental Physical, is all about creating fun nights that aren’t dependent on drugs or drinking. (Serendipity?!) If you’re in New York, try to catch one of her sets. They’re a guaranteed groove and a half—with or without friends by your side.

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Tatiana Gallardo is a writer, illustrator, and occasional fist pumper. You can find her on Instagram or dancing across the Costco aisles like her abuela.